๐ฏ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
โกโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโก
โฆ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐ท๐๐
Now the military vehicle moved steadily through the winding roads of Mirzapur outside, fields stretched endlessly beneath the fading evening sky.
The scenery was peaceful unfortunately, the person sitting beside me wasn't.
"Brother." I ignored him not again shaurya
"Maahir."still ignored.
"Lieutenant Maahir Malhotra."no reply
"Future best man at my wedding." i finally looked up.
"Whose wedding?"shaurya looked offended.
"Mine."
"With whom?"
The man stared as if I had asked the world's stupidest question.
"Captain Syra Kapoor." I closed my eyes.
not this again please
For the last thirty minutes, Lieutenant Shaurya Rathore had been explaining why fate had personally chosen him and Captain Syra Kapoor for each other.
The evidence?according to him Pihu Kapoor existed.
"Listen carefully."
"I'm not."
"You should."
"I shouldn't."
Shaurya ignored me as usual.
"Pihu literally confirmed it."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"She said Syra talks about me."
"She talks about you because you're a problem."
"Still talking about me."
I sighed this conversation was exhausting meanwhile Shaurya was smiling at absolutely nothing is he mad or what.
"You know what I think?"
"No."
"Captain Syra Kapoor secretly admires me."
I stared the confidence, the delusion and
the complete absence of reality Impressive Mr Rathore
"Shaurya."
"Hm?"
"She threatened to throw you out of a briefing remember"
"Passion."
"No."
"Chemistry."
"No."
"Connection."
"No."he shook his head sadly.
"One day you'll understand love."
I looked out the window ignoring him ,the roads blurred past.
Villages,fields and people returning home life moving forward and somehow my thoughts drifted elsewhere.
Towards a girl who kept appearing and disappearing from my life,the whole situation made no sense thousands of people lived in Uttar Pradesh yet somehow I had crossed paths with the same girl multiple times in the span of a few days.
Assi Ghat,the rickshaw,the diary,the roadside stop , her dupatta and every single time something happened.
a crowd or a missed opportunity almost as if fate enjoyed playing games.
My hand unconsciously moved toward my bag toward the diary and dupatta still resting safely inside untouched and unopened.
Waiting to be returned,for a brief moment, I wondered where she was.
Had she realized it was missing?was she looking for her things ,probably.
A sudden voice interrupted my thoughts.
"What are you smiling at?" I blinked.
"What?"
"You smiled."
"I didn't."
"You did."
"No."
"You absolutely did."
Across from us, another soldier looked up.
"You kinda did Malhotra" traitor ahhh
Shaurya's eyes widened.
"Oh my God."
"No."
"There is a girl."
"No."
"There is definitely a girl."
"No."
"There is."
"There isn't."
"There is."
I looked away ,immediately a mistake
because Shaurya suddenly sat forward the excitement in his eyes was terrifying.
"Who is my Bhabhi"
"No one."
"Name?"
Mujhe khud hi nahi pta abhi bhai i thought in my mind
"No."
"Age?"
"No."
"Occupation?"
"No."
"Love story?"
"Absolutely not."
The vehicle erupted into laughter even the soldiers nearby were enjoying this wow wonderful exactly what I needed.
Meanwhile Shaurya looked personally invested.
"You know what this means?"
"It means nothing."
"It means destiny."
I almost laughed destiny if only he knew because somehow the word didn't sound entirely ridiculous anymore.
Not after the last few days ,after all the coincidences andafter nearly finding her again.
My gaze returned to the passing roads.
somewhere out there was a girl a girl whose diary and dupatta currently occupied space in my military backpack.
A girl I barely knew and hadn't even properly met yet somehow i had a feeling this story wasn't over.
Beside me, Shaurya was still discussing wedding decorations for an imaginary marriage and for the first time in all day a small smile appeared on my face maybe fate really did have a strange sense of humor.
โฆ ๐บ๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐ท๐๐
Mirzapur was beautiful.
The kind of beautiful that didn't need expensive cafรฉs, crowded malls, or glittering city lights to prove its worth. The golden evening sun spread across the fields like liquid honey, painting everything in warm shades of amber. The distant hills stood proudly against the horizon, while the gentle breeze carried the scent of wet soil, mango trees, and freshly harvested crops.
From the terrace of the old haveli, Sarah could see children running barefoot through narrow lanes, their laughter echoing across the village. Cows returned home lazily, and women gathered outside their houses, talking as the day slowly slipped into evening.
It was peaceful beautiful ,alive and yet
Sarah had always believed that every beautiful place carried its own shadows.
This village wasn't different ,she had spent barely a day there, but it was enough to notice certain things.
The men were often blamed for patriarchy, and rightly so, but what surprised her most was something else.
Many times, a woman's biggest critic wasn't a man, it was another woman.
She had watched elderly women sit together, laughing at a newly married daughter in law because she didn't know how to make round rotis. She had heard comments about someone's weight, someone's complexion, someone's clothes.
"kitni patli hai ye"
"Shaadi ke baad kitna weight badh gya hai iska"
"Thodi gori hoti to jyada acha hota"
"Kitne chote baal hai iske"
"Ye kaise kapde dale hai is ladki ne"
"Kuwari hoke bhi itni lipstick kyu lgai hai"
"Iski maa ne mayke se kuch shikha ke nahi bheja isko"
The words were spoken casually, almost as if they were normal conversations and perhaps that was the saddest part.
They were normal nobody questioned them or stopped them sarah often wondered how women expected support from society when they themselves were so quick to pull another woman down.
A woman was taught to fear men.
but many times, a woman became another woman's first enemy the thought left a bitter taste in her mouth as if that wasn't enough, the entire evening had felt like an interview she never signed up for.
Every relative seemed to have the same question
"Sarah beta, when are you getting married?"
"Koi ladka dekha hai ya nahi?"
"Aage ka kya plan hai"
"Acha rishta dekh rahe honge ghrwale tumhare liye"
By the end of it, she had lost count of how many times she had smiled politely and changed the topic she respected people ,she truly did.
But sometimes people forgot that a girl could have dreams beyond marriage.
Sometimes they forgot that a woman could simply exist without explaining her life plans to everyone around her.
After somehow escaping another round of questions, Sarah finally reached her room.
The moment the door closed behind her, she let out a long sigh.
"Finally" dropping onto the bed, she stared at the ceiling.
The room was quiet,for the first time all day, nobody was asking questions nobody was judging or advising there was only peaceful silence and somehow, in that silence, her mind drifted somewhere unexpected.
Back to that strange moment ,the road, the fluttering dupatta and the feeling that someone was there.
Sarah frowned slightly,she still couldn't explain it she hadn't even seen the boy properly in fact, she wasn't even sure if she had seen him at all.
Yet every time she remembered that moment, a strange feeling settled inside her as if something had been left unfinished or if fate had interrupted a conversation before it could even begin.
A small smile appeared on her lips.
"Why do I keep thinking about that?"
she turned to one side, hugging a pillow.
maybe it was nothing and she was simply overthinking but then why had that moment stayed with her?why did it feel so familiar?
Someone she didn't know and someone who was a complete stranger and yet..
For reasons she couldn't explain, it felt like there was a connection not love or attraction just a strange sense of familiarity as if life had briefly crossed two paths and then pulled them apart before they could meet
Sarah shook her head and laughed softly at herself.
"You're getting dramatic."
The village air was probably affecting her with that thought, she switched off the lamp beside her bed darkness settled around the room outside, crickets sang their nightly songs while the cool breeze slipped through the window.
Slowly, her thoughts faded the unknown boy disappeared from her mind and within minutes, sleep claimed her completely.
โฆ Dinner had ended nearly half an hour ago.
The temporary camp had settled into a calm rhythm. A few soldiers were still awake, finishing assigned duties while others sat around discussing random topics before calling it a night.
A small group of officers occupied a corner near the camp lanterns among them sat Syra.
As usual, she looked composed, attentive and intimidating enough to make junior officers think twice before speaking out of line which was precisely why Shaurya enjoyed irritating her.
Among all Shaurya was, unsurprisingly, the loudest among them.
"Honestly, these mosquitoes have a personal grudge against me."
"They don't," Syra replied dryly. "They're just attracted to nonsense."
Everyone laughed"See?"
He pointed dramatically. "This is bullying."
"It would be bullying if it wasn't true," Maahir added , shaurya gasped in mock offense while the others chuckled.
"You know, Captain Kapoor,"
he began casually diverting the topic
"I think the real reason you're always serious is because smiling would violate army regulations."
a few officers chuckled syra didn't even look at him.
"Very funny lieutenant Rathore"
"I know."
"It wasn't."
"It was."
"It wasn't."
"It absolutely was."
The others shook their heads same argument ,different day then somehow the conversation drifted elsewhere and one of the officers mentioned an old training incident before anyone else could explain it, Shaurya dramatically reenacted the entire event.
the expressions, voices, overacting he repeated everything.
For a second there was silence then Syra laughed she actually laughed not a polite smile or a sarcastic huff a real laugh.
The sound caught everyone by surprise including her.
And for one brief moment, Shaurya completely forgot the conversation around him.
His eyes remained fixed on her the bonfire reflected in her eyes,a few loose strands of hair danced with the breeze.
and that laugh God! that laugh it was the most beautiful thing he had heard in his life
Maahir noticed immediately of course he did because unlike Shaurya, he was still connected to reality.
He looked from Syra to Shaurya then back to Syra and then back to Shaurya and suddenly everything made sense.
Oh! Oh, this was bad very bad because that wasn't admiration or even a crush anymore that was Loverboy Shaurya.
A few minutes later, Syra excused herself and headed toward her tent.
Shaurya's eyes followed her until she disappeared from sight ,maahir closed his eyes.
"This is embarrassing."
"Hm?" Shaurya looked at him.
"Nothing." But Maahir knew his friend had fallen hard and he wasn't even trying to hide it anymore
โข Much later, the camp had gone quiet only the distant sounds of night insects remained.
Inside their tent, Maahir was arranging his belongings while Shaurya lay on his cot staring at the ceiling.
Smiling,for absolutely no reason which somehow made it worse.
Maahir finally looked at him.
"You're smiling at a tent."
Shaurya didn't even deny it.
"Did you see her?"
"There are approximately thirty people in this camp.
You'll have to be more specific."
"Syra."
There it was again,Maahir dropped onto his cot.
"Of course."
Shaurya's smile widened.
"She laughed."
"People do that, Shaurya."
"Not like that."
Maahir covered his face this wasn't funny anymore his condition apparently had no cure.
For a moment neither spoken then Maahir's expression softened.
Because beneath all the teasing, a thought had been bothering him all evening,Shaurya wasn't the kind of man who gave his heart away easily then he cared he cared completely and that was exactly what worried Maahir because reality didn't always follow the script people imagined.
He cared about Shaurya more than he'd ever admit aloud and maybe that was why he was afraid.
Feelings weren't guarantees,people weren't promises what if Syra didn't feel the same?
What if one day all those hopeful looks and silent expectations crashed into reality?the thought sat heavily in his chest.
Shaurya was many things, annoying,dramatic and impossible.
but he was also one of the best men Maahir knew and watching him get hurt would be difficult.
"Just don't get carried away."
The words slipped out before Maahir could stop them.
Shaurya turned his head.
"What?"Maahir shrugged.
"Nothing." but Shaurya understood anyway, asmall smile appeared on his face.
"Too late."
Maahir groaned.
"Fantastic."
"I'm serious."
"Sun" Maahir asked him
"You know, one day you're going to crash into reality."
Shaurya lay down on his cot."Maybe."
"And then?"
A small smile appeared on Shaurya's face"Then at least I'll know I tried."
Maahir stared at him for a second then rolled his eyes.
"Hopeless, Delusional, Idiot tu nibba hi ban"
"Goodnight, Sunshine."Shaurya wished him and turned his side
"Goodnight, Shaurya"
Within minutes, Shaurya was asleep.
Maahir, however, remained awake for a little longer staring at the tent ceiling wondering whether his friend was braver or simply setting himself up for heartbreak.
Even after a hour Maahir lay on his cot, one arm tucked beneath his head as he stared at the tent ceiling.
Sleep should have come by now ;ut it didn't his mind kept drifting back to the same person.
Shaurya more specifically, the way he'd looked at Syra the way his eyes followed her without realizing it and the way a single laugh had been enough to brighten his entire mood.
Maahir shook his head.
๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐?
The thought lingered could one person actually affect someone that much and could a single smile become the best part of someone's day?the idea felt absurd and yet shaurya was living proof of it.
A few hours ago, Maahir would've laughed at the thought now he wasn't so sure after looking at his friend
With a sigh, he turned onto his side his gaze landed on the small bag resting beside his cot and suddenly he remembered.
The diary.
The same diary that had somehow managed to travel all the way here along with him.
For a moment, he simply stared at it then looked away.
No, Bad idea Maahir ,whatever was written inside wasn't meant for him opening it would be wrong end of discussion.
Satisfied with that decision, he closed his eyes,ten seconds later, he opened them again.
His gaze immediately returned to the bag the diary hadn't moved obviously.
yet somehow it felt like it was staring back at him.
Waiting and tempting him Maahir groaned.
"This is stupid."he sat up then lay back down and then sat up again.
A minute later he found himself reaching for the bag only to stop midway.
"No."his hand retreated.
Another thirty seconds passed then he reached for it again this time successfully pulling the diary out.
The worn cover rested in his hands.
Maahir stared at it for several moments.
"You shouldn't do this,Pagal hai kya"
he was talking to himself now.
A sure sign that sleep deprivation was winning still, he couldn't put it away.
Curiosity was a dangerous thing and right now, curiosity was winning the battle.
He turned the diary over,examined the edges looked at the cover again.
Then laughed quietly at himself.
"One look."he took a. pause.
"Just one."another pause.
"Maybe."his own arguments sounded pathetic but they worked.
Slowly, carefully, he placed the diary on his lap his fingers hovered over the cover for one final second, he hesitated.
Then, taking a deep breath,Maahir opened it
Maahir hesitated for one last second before opening the diary.
The worn cover creaked softly beneath his fingers.
A strange sense of guilt settled in his chest this was wrong he diary belonged to someone else but curiosity had already won.
Slowly, he opened the first page,the neat handwriting immediately caught his attention.
At the very top of the page, written in blue ink, were two simple words.
๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐
For a moment, Maahir just stared at the name Sarah so that was her name the unknown girl finally had an identity.
A small smile appeared on his face before he could stop it.
"Sarah"the name felt oddly familiar on his tongue shaking his head, he looked further down the page and immediately burst out laughing.
Written below the name was a bold heading.
โข ๐น๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ต๐ถ๐ป ๐น๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
๐. You are invading a poor girl's privacy. Shame on you.
๐. Congratulations. You're officially more curious than a cat.
๐. Your future spouse deserves better than someone who reads random diaries wait what if you are my future husband?
๐. Put this diary down and go drink water you're clearly dehydrated cutie
๐.If you're a cute guy actually no cute girl whatever put the diary down anyway
๐. Warning: Contents may include excessive overthinking and second-hand embarrassment.
๐. I know you're still reading. That's actually concerning.
๐. Bachi ko baksh do bhai varna baddua de dungi eeee chodh meri diary
๐. There is a 99.9% chance you'll cringe while reading this and if you don't means you are in love with me
๐๐. Final warning there are feelings in here real ones so enter at your own risk.
[ If you are my annoying brother immediately leave , otherwise i will spill your every secrets in house and everyone will beat your ass so dafa ho ]
Maahir covered his mouth, trying not to laugh loudly.
"What kind of girl writes this?" For the first time all day, he found himself genuinely smiling.
She was ridiculous and somehow, that made him want to keep reading.
He turned the page saw cute drawings and a small note was scribbled in the corner.
~๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
He opened another page
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
You know me, right?
Awkward nerdy and socially questionable.
I survived another day at school barely.Why I am so introvert I want to make friends but I don't know how to start conversation
I saw a girl gang being lost with each other gossiping, applying makeups and sharing secrets? Don't everyone deserves that kind of friendship right
A reluctant smile appeared on Maahir's face as he continued reading.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Today was presentation day.
Which means I embarrassed myself publicly in front of approximately two hundred people.
I was presenting a project, ihad practiced for a week - A FREAKING WHOLE WEEK.
Do you know what happened?the moment I stood in front of everyone, my brain packed its bags and left.
I forgot what I was supposed to say my hands were shaking and my voice sounded weird.
Fir? Fir kya i spent the next six hours replaying the moment in my head.
Why am I like this?
---
The next page made him chuckle again she was nerd but cute
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Sometimes I look at girls my age and wonder how they make everything seem so easy.
They know what to wear what to say,how to talk and how to fit in.
Meanwhile, I once said "you too" when a waiter told me to enjoy my meal.
Will anyone ever fall in love with a girl like me?
A girl who overthinks everything?
A girl who reads more books than people?
A girl who gets nervous ordering food?
Do people fall in love with nerds?
Or do they just become the funny side character in everyone else's story?
---
Something about that question made Maahir pause.
His eyes remained fixed on the page.
For some reason, he didn't find it funny anymore. he didn't find it funny anymore. Instead, it felt sad.
The kind of sadness hidden behind jokes.
He turned another page.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
I love my family i really do especially Papa.
He's one of the strongest people I know.
he works hard and sacrifices so much for us I admire him more than he'll ever know.
But sometimes I wonder what if I don't want a man exactly like him?
What if I want someone softer?someone expressive.
Someone who isn't afraid to tell me he loves me.
Someone who will remember small things about me
Someone who never raises his voice just because he's angry.
Someone who loves loudly.
not for the world just for me maybe that's unrealistic maybe I watch too many movies but if love finds me one day i hope it feels safe.
---
The camp around Maahir had become completely silent.
Only the occasional breeze brushed against the tent walls.
He kept reading.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Irritating relatives visited today.
Apparently, my existence is a community project ,everyone had opinions.
Sarah is too quiet.
Sarah reads too much.
Sarah should talk more.
Sarah should smile more.
Sarah should be more social.
Sarah should be this.
Sarah should be that.
Have they ever considered that maybe. I'm just Sarah?
---
A pressed bougainvillea flower fell from between the pages.
Carefully, Maahir picked it up the petals were fragile old and reserved just like the memories hidden inside the diary.
Another page.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Today a little girl asked me why I always carry books.
I told her books are easier than people she nodded and said,
"Same."
I think I just met my younger self.
---
The next entry was shorter.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
One day I want to sit somewhere quiet near mountains or maybe a river no expectations and pressure just me, a book and peace.
Is that too much to ask?
---
Maahir slowly leaned back against the pillow.
His eyes drifted across the pages he'd already read.
The awkward jokes the insecurities.
and softness hidden behind humor.
Somewhere in the distance, a faint melody drifted through his memory, carrying the ache of longing and loneliness.
For reasons he couldn't explain, the words on these pages didn't feel like ordinary diary entries anymore.
They felt like pieces of a person.
A person he had never met and yet.
a person he suddenly wanted to know more about.
His gaze dropped to the next page and before he realized it, his fingers had already moved to turn another page.
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Today I answered "you too" when my teacher said, "Happy Birthday."
The worst part?it wasn't even my birthday.
I don't know whose birthday it was i don't know why I said it and i even don't know why I exist.
Anyway, I'll be changing schools, cities, countries and probably planets now.
-
Maahir snorted.
"Fair enough."
For the first time since opening the diary, he found himself laughing out loud.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
I have reached a conclusion iam not socially awkward you know people are socially confusing.
Think about it.
When you're quiet, they ask why you're quiet.
When you talk, they ask why you're talking so much.
When you're alone, they tell you to make friends.
When you finally make friends, they ask why you're always with them.
There is literally no winning.
-
Maahir found himself nodding.
"She has a point." the realization hit him a second later he was agreeing with a diary - A diary.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Today a pick me girl in class asked me why I always carry a book and acts like a ITV heroine
I asked her why she always carries her phone and I acts like a villain from a college romcom movie
She stared at me ,i stared at her.
We stared at each other and somehow I became the weird one.
-
A smile pulled at Maahir's lips.
The girl had a dangerous amount of confidence when she was writing.
Interesting.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Sometimes I feel like everybody received a handbook for life except me.
Everyone knows what they're doing, what they want and where they're going and then there's me.
Standing in the middle of a room wondering if I remembered to lock the bathroom door.
-
Maahir laughed.
Then immediately stopped because the next lines were different softer more vulnerable.
-
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Do you ever feel invisible?not in a sad way exactly just forgettable.
Like if you disappeared from a room, nobody would notice for a while.
Sometimes I sit with people and listen to them talk i smile and laugh but deep inside I wonder if anyone truly knows me.
The real me not the version I show everyone just me Sarah
-
The smile slowly faded from Maahir's face for some reason, that entry felt heavier than the others as if the girl behind the jokes had accidentally let her guard down.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
I think people mistake kindness for weakness.
Especially girls.
If you're soft, they think you're easy to break.
If you're emotional, they think you're dramatic.
If you're sensitive, they think you're fragile but surviving while staying kind is one of the hardest things in the world.
I think softness is a strength even if nobody else agrees.
-
Maahir reread that paragraph twice something about it stayed with him.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Question.
Will someone ever love a girl like me?not the movie version or the edited version.
The real version
The one who gets nervous ordering food.
The one who overthinks every conversation at 2 a.m.
The one who pretends she's confident and then spends the entire night wondering if she sounded stupid.
Will somebody look at that girl and still stay?i don't know maybe.
-
For reasons he couldn't explain, Maahir didn't immediately turn the page his gaze remained fixed on those words.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Today my not so lovely relatives came over again and apparently my future has become a public discussion topic.
One aunt said I'm too quiet.
Another said I'm too ambitious.
Someone said I should learn cooking properly.
Someone else asked why I read so much.
One uncle asked if I had a boyfriend.
I wanted to ask if he had a hobby but unfortunately society requires manners.
-
A laugh escaped Maahir before he could stop it.
"Definitely should've asked."
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
I am again back with family drama rants
I don't think I'd want someone exactly like Papan before anyone judges me, let me explain.
Papa loves us i know he does but he belongs to a generation that rarely says it aloud and maybe I'm selfish but I want words.
I want honesty and affection, iwant someone who isn't afraid to tell me he loves me someone who doesn't think emotions are embarrassing and with whom I feel safe not perfect just safe.
I want a sincere one the kind that feels like coming home after a difficult day.
-
The camp around Maahir seemed quieter than before.
Even the breeze outside had slowed he stared at the page for a long moment.
Safe.
That was an unusual thing to want from love and yet it felt strangely beautiful.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
I think my biggest fear isn't ending up alone.
It's ending up with someone who makes me feel alone there is a difference a huge one.
People talk about love all the time nobody talks enough about peace i think I want peace more.
-
Maahir's expression softened.
The words didn't sound like something written by a dramatic college girl they sounded thoughtful,wise, even.
---
โข ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐๐
Fun fact.
When I'm nervous, I create fake conversations in my head in those conversations I'm incredibly confident.
Funny smart and charming but unfortunately, real life Sarah never attends those meetings.
-
That made Maahir laugh again.
"Now that sounds accurate."
He shook his head the girl was impossible,one page she was making him laugh the next she was making him think and somehow without ever meeting her he was already beginning to understand her.
โฆ ๐:๐๐ ๐จ๐ด
The entire camp was asleep the lantern outside had long gone out.
Even the wind seemed quieter now, moving through the darkness with a softness that made the night feel endless ,Maahir sat alone on his cot.
The diary rested in his hands closed.
finished - Two hundred pages.
Two hundred pages of thoughts, fears, dreams, insecurities, bad jokes, embarrassing moments, silent heartbreaks and unspoken wishes.
Two hundred pages of Sarah.
Slowly, he ran his thumb over the worn cover a strange feeling settled in his chest because the truth was. he knew her now not only her favorite color her birthday or just superficial things people usually knew about each other.
He knew the girl who got nervous before presentations,
Tthe girl who overthought every conversation.
The girl who made jokes whenever life hurt a little too much.
The girl who secretly worried whether anyone would ever choose someone like her.
The girl who wanted a love that felt safe.
The girl who pretended to be stronger than she actually felt.
The real Sarah and somehow. that felt more intimate than knowing someone's face.
Maahir leaned back against the pillow and stared at the tent ceiling.
A few hours ago she had been a stranger now she felt familiar wait dangerously familiar.
His eyes drifted back to the diary the pages were filled with her.
Every page, word, thought and f fear.
He had spent the entire night reading and not once had he gotten bored not once.
A small smile appeared on his face.
"You're weird."
The smile widened.
"No."
He corrected himself.
"You're impossible."
Outside, the silence deepened inside, his thoughts grew louder.
He remembered her question.
Will someone ever love a girl like me?
For some reason, that line refused to leave his head again and again over and over as if it had found a permanent place in his mind.
Maahir closed his eyes but instead of sleep, he saw pieces of her diary.
Random entries,andom memories thoughts and perfectly rhymed poems and somehow every one of them led back to her.
The awkward girl who carried books everywhere
The girl who wanted peace more than perfection.
The girl who laughed at herself before anyone else could.
The girl who thought she was forgettable.
If only she knew a soft chuckle escaped him Forgettable?not a chance not anymore Miss Sharma
His gaze shifted toward the watch beside him.
He should sleep he had duties tomorrow instead, he found himself opening the diary again not to read just to hold it as if putting it away would somehow end the connection he'd spent the entire night building and that realization finally made him pause because it sounded ridiculous he didn't know her he had never spoken to her never heard her voice or seen her smile yet here he was.
Wide awake at three in the morning thinking about a girl whose heart he'd met before her face.
For the first time that night, Maahir felt something dangerously close to panic.
"What are you doing?"
the question came out as a whisper
byt there was no answer only silence and the diary wait and the strange feeling that somewhere between page one and page two hundred. something had changed something he couldn't explain or he wasn't ready to name yet.
- ๐๐จ ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ฎ๐๐ -
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